July 5th, 2001

relaxed

Lazy Day #1

So I slept in today.

Actually, I woke up first at about my normal business day time. I almost decided to go to work today. I just feel like such a slacker, and in a bad way. Why take time off just to sit around at home?

I feel like I've been fired. Like the only reason I'd be here, at home, today, is because I've been fired. Oh, and performance reviews were last week, so that plays into my psychological condition. (Never mind that I received good marks on the "scorecard" of the review.)

So I went back to sleep, and woke up again... hmmm.... well a lot of times, but decided to get out of bed around 10am. What a slacker.

And so Lis & I went to see a movie, Cats & Dogs. Actually, we saw A.I. yesterday. I enjoyed Cats & Dogs much more, but basically because A.I. isn't what I thought it was.

Anyway... did that. Wasted time looking around in Target. Came home. Had dinner. Chatting. Watching a stripping woman in silver underthings. Feeling like crap.

I should head into the computer room with Lis and play something. RollerCoaster Tycoon probably, I'm on a RCT kick at the moment.

Not that I want my stripper to think I'm bailing on the show 'cause of her.

Damn.

I get too emotionally tied up too easy. Probably is a good thing that I never cared for anyone before I went to college, or I'd have too much baggage. But I get really attached to people really too easily, and I think I've done that again w/ the NakkidNerds. Even though I'm paying them each month.

Makes me feel like such a loser, that I have to pay people to be friendly to me. Or that I'm friends with people just because we both waste money each month supporting some hot Nerds.

Damn I'm confused now... At least it is a journal entry, maybe this will make sense later.
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