September 28th, 2003

relaxed

(no subject)

Dealing with my parents makes no sense to me. They're here, doing nothing but watching me, telling me to do whatever I'd normally do, but they just keep watching me, which gets on my nerves. So I want them to leave when they're here. But after they're gone, I miss them, and I want them to come back. It doesn't make sense to me.

I guess if I had something else to do I wouldn't feel that I want them to come back. There are several things I could do, but they'd all be things by myself and what I want is more to do something with people. Okay, so I have something to do Wednesday night, but since my parents are here I didn't get together with anyone on Friday or today, and Dee's gone... Spending time with my parents isn't that bad, but it's not the socialization with friends that I really want.

I wish I lived closer to everyone I know out here, so that I could casually drop in for an evening of gaming without it feeling that I've driven all that far out of my way. So that people would call for little casual things together.

But then, this is nicer than it was in Roanoke, where I didn't really have a social life at all. Other than talking to people on the computer. At least here I do have some friends to see. Even if those occasions don't come right when I really want them. I guess... It's confusing. I feel that I'm not meant to be human, because it just doesn't make sense to me. Of course, I don't know what I'm meant to be, either.

Right now, about the best thing on my mind is to go to Disney and lurk about the theme park for the evening. It's 5:45, and California Adventure is open until 9pm, Disneyland until 11pm.
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    confused confused