Sam (jevim) wrote,
Sam
jevim

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Jealousy

Comments can make you think... Lis spends so much time playing EQ. I dunno what she calls herself, but I'm the one who works every day. I bring in the paycheck that pays for almost everything. She's legally disabled and doesn't work, although since we're not married yet she still receives a monthly stiped from her father's retirement plan.

So I'm here at work, feeling pissed. She's at home, most likely playing EverQuest. Our apartment is a mess, but that it's not like I'm Mr. Clean or anything. We manage to keep the kitchen in order, and Lis keeps the laundry washed, but we have too many piles of papers and boxes and stuff that need to be hauled out to the dumpster. Of coure, the cats don't mind the piles of stuff... I actually think they like it. Sorta. In a cat-ish sort of way.

But when I get home in the evening, after the "How Was Your Day?" stuff, I usually ask Lis what she wants to do, and the typical response is, "I dunno, what do you want to do?" I just want to relax, so lately I've just been sitting down on the couch & watching some stuff on the TiVo (every night, a Simpsons epsidoe and the day's B5, plus some others stuffs from day to day) and surfing/chatting on the laptop. Lis then disappears back into the computer room (a 2 bedroom apartment, but the 2nd bedroom is our computer room) and plays EverQuest.

If I'm lucky, when I go to bed around 10pm, she'll wander in as well. But not every night. I might be an odd boy, but I really love cuddling with her before I go to sleep. But if she stays up playing EQ (there's a bunch of west-coast people, I believe, that she plays with at night), then I'm left to cuddle with a body pillow.

And, here's the thing: I know EQ is a social thing. Since Lis doesn't have a driver's license, she can't run out during the day and be social. So I don't want to take that away from her. But, at the same time, I guess I want more attention from her. But, if I tell her that, I will believe that I've guilted her into it, and that she's doing it to please me, not because it's what she wants.

So, I am quiet. And I am jealous. And I really should code now, since I'm paid to do that, not to rant to my journal.
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