Sam (jevim) wrote,

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I Miss My Friends :-(

It's been about 5 months since we moved from O.C. to the Silicon Valley. As much as I got a nice raise, and as much as this may make a nice resume builder... I wouldn't do it over if I had the choice again.

When I lived in Virginia, I didn't have friends that I hung out with on any regular basis. I played ping-pong at work, and towards the end there a co-worker started doing Halo nights occasionally. There was also a monthly chess night at a co-worker's church. Nothing that really matched up to what I found in SoCal.

I was immeasurably lucky to have found Suzy online and have built a 'net friendship there; when we moved, I was doubly lucky that it worked out as a real friendship, and that several people out of her circle of friends welcomed Dee and I as well.

And then my little company wanted to move. Why didn't I realize what I was getting into before I agreed to move?

I've managed to make trips down to SoCal, and have Suzy visit twice and Adam and others stopped by once. But still, it's not what I want. If not for the relocation money that I'd owe back to the company I'd seriously be looking for jobs in SoCal right now. But it would be significantly prohibitive to pay that back right now, so I have to make it through until that no longer has to be repaid -- either until I've been here a year or the company shuts down, whatever comes first.

I want to find a group of friends to hang out with up here. I know Jay's up here in the bay, but we've never had much of a connection between us. I was too out of it last weekend to really get a good feel, but it seemed he was much more interested in coming to visit so that he could hang out with Suzy than anything else; hard to blame him, since he's recently moved up here too.

The hardest part is making that first friend; after that, there are a lot of people to meet in that friend's circle. I just have the hard time making that first connection. And then I get into moods like this, where I just want to go back and live in the past, because the past seems so much better than today.

But I can't live in the past. I have to live in the now, and build a future for myself. But I just feel it's so hard to do, and I don't know where to start...

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