Of course, as I sit down to write, the events of the day have blended together. Had I wrote in parts during the day, I would have more profound emotional context than that I can write now, because I am no longer in the moment of my emotions.
But, this morning, I had to go to the post office. So Lis and I headed out early (for us), at about 10am. Off to the post office & the package is in the mail. We then headed out for lunch. Of course, the ATM I wanted to go by to get cash for lunch was "out of service," but Lis fortunately still had cash on her.
So we did our lunch, and I started driving us along. I was thinking of taking her by a stitchery shop, even though she had not asked to go. But, as we were driving, I started singing along, in a silly manner, to the radio. Lis, without saying anything, changed the station. I took this badly, as if my singing was offensive, and just turned the radio off & got us heading back home. (No abrupt u-turn, but a change of path when I could.)
So we got back to the apartement, and I just hopped out of the card and headed in. I went to the bedroom, collapsed on the bed, and pulled the sheets over me. I just was in shutdown mode, as it was so hard for me to drive home (~15 minutes) without breaking down behind the wheel. And we talked for a while and worked our problems out.
And then I took a nap.
After that, we did a little housework, cleaning the place up. We headed back out for a fast-food dinner, this time finding an in-service ATM. A quick Best Buy trip (finding Big on DVD, on sale!) and we were back home. I'm still rebuilding my main desktop system (from a hard drive failure a bit back... the replacement arrived Tuesday, and today's package was returning the faulty drive) and spent a lot of time in the computer room with Lis as she was playing EverQuest.
And now I'm out here in the living room, on the sofa, watching Iron Chef and writing my journal entry. I was really emotionally unstable this afternoon, but I'm much more grounded right now.
I talked to Lis about EverQuest, and wanting more attention from her. Playing EverQuest isn't my real problem, and I told her that. What I would like to change is for her to come to bed with me more during the week. She seemed to take the conversation well & said she'd try to do it. So we'll see how it goes...