Right now, I think I'm going through some cognitive dissonance in regards to my California move. I have so many thoughts of here as "good" and California as "bad", and I have the desire to move out there (for lisana, and to be around some cool people, like aelien27, babyraver, and f0rge). So, these thoughts don't jive with one another... why move from "good" to "bad"?
This morning, driving into work, I realized that everything here in Roanoke has been eating at my nerves lately. The drivers are stupid, aren't paying attention, and can't deal with a fucking highway on-ramp. The McDonald's I wanted to get breakfast from this morning was out... Out!... of breakfast burritos and couldn't make more. Restaurants in general suck & have poor service.
I know that things here aren't really that bad. Or at least, I hope that I haven't been delusional long enough to have ignored everything sucking that bad here. But I know that it's just part of resolving the cognitive dissonance... I'm building up more thoughts that reinforce my desire to go to California. Lis and babyraver say that California is great; I realize that Roanoke sucks. It's all just making a new web of thoughts.
It's stressful, though. Because all the new "thoughts" that are making the move seem like a good idea are actually sucky experiences to have. But hopefully it's all for the best...