March 13th, 2003
I know too much about psychology and sociology for my own good...
Right now, I think I'm going through some cognitive dissonance in regards to my California move. I have so many thoughts of here as "good" and California as "bad", and I have the desire to move out there (for lisana, and to be around some cool people, like aelien27, babyraver, and f0rge). So, these thoughts don't jive with one another... why move from "good" to "bad"?
This morning, driving into work, I realized that everything here in Roanoke has been eating at my nerves lately. The drivers are stupid, aren't paying attention, and can't deal with a fucking highway on-ramp. The McDonald's I wanted to get breakfast from this morning was out... Out!... of breakfast burritos and couldn't make more. Restaurants in general suck & have poor service.
I know that things here aren't really that bad. Or at least, I hope that I haven't been delusional long enough to have ignored everything sucking that bad here. But I know that it's just part of resolving the cognitive dissonance... I'm building up more thoughts that reinforce my desire to go to California. Lis and babyraver say that California is great; I realize that Roanoke sucks. It's all just making a new web of thoughts.
It's stressful, though. Because all the new "thoughts" that are making the move seem like a good idea are actually sucky experiences to have. But hopefully it's all for the best...
Current Mood: anxious
Part of life is experiencing... not only and adventure, but you are about to pile some more life experience up. ;)
And all ya gotta do is think positive. Set your goals, and get them accomplished... You'll get a breather soon. *huggles*
|Date:||March 13th, 2003 04:26 pm (UTC)|| |
I do fine when I can think about little goals & just deal with those. That was the first week of packing. But as it gets closer, the "big picture" keeps closing in on me and I just get really stressed.
*sigh* Maybe I should've just flown out there and worked for a while, sending money home for Lis to live on, and then done the move on a more sensible time scale. That would've worked... if Lis had a driver's license.
I just worry that things are going to get really really really messed up. If they do, I hope you can put up with two houseguests and two cats while our stuff is stuffed in storage and I try the whole deal again... *sigh*
You just need to breathe... relax and remember you're stressed out. Think positive about things. IT helps keep your stress level down too ;)
Give us a jingle when you are close and know when you'll be here for sure. :)