Sam (jevim) wrote,
Sam
jevim

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Continuing Some Thoughts...

I read a lot into people's voices. I have a hard time believe what people tell me at times, due to the way it is said. And if I tell you something, repeating it back to me is guaranteed to not work.

I guess I journal a lot because I simply want an honest reaction from people. I want feedback. I want someone to look at what I've said and say that they've been there and they can sympathize. That they know the story and can say something to help.

I journal because I want attention.

I have a hard time asking for attention. Especially when it seems that other people have things they want to do/would rather be doing. I want people to make some fuss over me, but I don't feel that I can actually ask for it.

It's terrible. I can't ask for what I feel I need, and then I feel terrible when I don't get it. *sigh* Lose-lose situation.

I can't deal with other people. I try and do it, but I always worry if I'm going too far. If I'm offending someone and they don't want to tell me. *sigh*

I just want to find something to bang my head against. Just keep banging and banging my head.

After I get my medical going again (one month lag for medical benefits with the new job), I guess I should see a psychatrist/psychologist/something. *sigh*
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