April 3rd, 2003
|10:17 pm - Continuing Some Thoughts...|
I read a lot into people's voices. I have a hard time believe what people tell me at times, due to the way it is said. And if I tell you something, repeating it back to me is guaranteed to not work.
I guess I journal a lot because I simply want an honest reaction from people. I want feedback. I want someone to look at what I've said and say that they've been there and they can sympathize. That they know the story and can say something to help.
I journal because I want attention.
I have a hard time asking for attention. Especially when it seems that other people have things they want to do/would rather be doing. I want people to make some fuss over me, but I don't feel that I can actually ask for it.
It's terrible. I can't ask for what I feel I need, and then I feel terrible when I don't get it. *sigh* Lose-lose situation.
I can't deal with other people. I try and do it, but I always worry if I'm going too far. If I'm offending someone and they don't want to tell me. *sigh*
I just want to find something to bang my head against. Just keep banging and banging my head.
After I get my medical going again (one month lag for medical benefits with the new job), I guess I should see a psychatrist/psychologist/something. *sigh*
Current Mood: depressed
I hear ya... And I know where you're coming from.
LJ has been a great help to me. A lot of my growing up has been with LJ.
And it's been a great help to be able to make some entries that have a lot of meaning to me, and find people commenting back and giving me their opinions.
Of course, I don't expect them to. But it is a pleasure to hear what others have to say.
So many people out there in this world experiencing the same things we are... and it's nice to hear different points of views on how to tackle that thing we call life.
Seeing a Therapist might help with your settling in to the new environment. It is a big change... and having someone to talk to might help.
Of course, you're always welcome to come talk to me... Even though I might not have a degree in that sort of thing... I think I can still give a good ear. ;)