Sam (jevim) wrote,
Sam
jevim

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My Morning...

Before we went to sleep last night, lisana asked me if we could try taking laundry out in the morning, so that she only would have to carry it back to the apartment. I guess I wasn't really enthusiastic about it... guess I just figured I'd end up sitting around for a bit waiting for her to get things together. I had wanted to get into work early today (9am), and figured that it might not work out...

I woke up at 6:59am. Turned the alarm off before it went off. Rolled over. Next thing I know, it's about 8:15am! Damn! So much for making the 9am target.

I did wake up in a very odd mindstate, though. I just needed hugs and some "I Love Yous" and little things. It was a normal morning for Lis, though, she was really quiet but really big on the hugs. And then, she went to pet Peanut, and told the kitty to relax... and I just sorta felt sad. And I told her as much... that I wanted her to do those kinda things with me.

And so we started talking. That she didn't want to do that because the last time she tried it (Saturday evening) I didn't take it well... *sigh*

From there... I guess I felt she had been very quiet with me since last weekend, and was worried that there was something she wasn't telling me. So we got into it a bit, discussed things, and tried to get her opinion on recent events.

We went through some sad and sorry feelings... but, at the end, we talked about things I needed to hear Lis talk about, and realized that I need to be less... ummm... stupid, and just tell her more of what I need from her.

Side note: usually, I hate telling people what I want to hear from them. Generally, it's because they'll echo the words right back to me, and therefore I'll assume that they're saying it to placate me, not because they mean it. It's a stupid behavior... and today, I told her what I needed to hear, and was hoping she would echo it back. I'm getting ready to accept that people won't echo things just to make me feel good, that they'll echo things only if they really mean it when it comes out of their mouth.

It's a step forward for me, at least...
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