Sam (jevim) wrote,

  • Mood:

Changing is hard...

...especially when it involves behaviors that you can't explain.

I worry too much. In a way, LiveJournal is terrible for me, because I either see what everyone says, and assume that it's directed at me; or I feel they're hiding from me, and worry that they aren't interested in my friendship. Of course, in a way, it is directed at me, but it's not because only I have been doing it. Argh.

I'm not that important. It's hard for me to accept. *sigh* It was the one thing that I got from being "intelligent" in high school--all the teachers loved to talk about me. Or at least seemed to, when I was around. I received a lot of attention because I was smart. (At least, hopefully it was because I was smart and not beause I was wearing a part of that day's lunch!)

I'm trying to break these nasty/bad habits. It's not that easy, though. I really shouldn't post anything about this right now, because I don't want a particular almost-birthday-girl to worry at all about it. It's nothing bad in my head. It's just different. I have to accept it.

It's hard, though, changing... but I think I'm learning, and changing in good ways.

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