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April 25th, 2003


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06:38 pm - Changing is hard...
...especially when it involves behaviors that you can't explain.

I worry too much. In a way, LiveJournal is terrible for me, because I either see what everyone says, and assume that it's directed at me; or I feel they're hiding from me, and worry that they aren't interested in my friendship. Of course, in a way, it is directed at me, but it's not because only I have been doing it. Argh.

I'm not that important. It's hard for me to accept. *sigh* It was the one thing that I got from being "intelligent" in high school--all the teachers loved to talk about me. Or at least seemed to, when I was around. I received a lot of attention because I was smart. (At least, hopefully it was because I was smart and not beause I was wearing a part of that day's lunch!)

I'm trying to break these nasty/bad habits. It's not that easy, though. I really shouldn't post anything about this right now, because I don't want a particular almost-birthday-girl to worry at all about it. It's nothing bad in my head. It's just different. I have to accept it.

It's hard, though, changing... but I think I'm learning, and changing in good ways.
Current Mood: learning

(5 comments | Touch Me)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:cognizance
Date:April 26th, 2003 01:07 am (UTC)
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HAHA! RedBeard! *poke* We should go jack some diamonds. "^_^"
[User Picture]
From:cognizance
Date:April 26th, 2003 01:06 am (UTC)
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Just so you know... my post was directed towards you. Nor was it a result of you or your actions.

If that's what got your gears turning here.

*huggles* I was just venting... lots of people are asking me and asking me that... no one talking to eachother.

Birthdays are kinda iffy in my family. My sister has never had a good one. (not sure about this year cuz we aren't even talking) and i've had drama too around my birthday... typically family drama though. hehe

But yeah... here I am going on ... I'm looking forward to later. Seeing you guys again and all of us chillin together. *smile* Being with my friends make me happy.
[User Picture]
From:cognizance
Date:April 26th, 2003 11:43 am (UTC)
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was = wasn't... wasn't directed towards you! GAH! See what happens when you comment really early in the morning?
[User Picture]
From:jevim
Date:April 26th, 2003 11:45 am (UTC)
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I was going to ask about that ^_^. Smartass in me wanted to say: Did you proofread to make sure you didn't any words out?

But I figured it would wait until later. It's you're birthday, and there are much more important things to worry about! Like... 2+5 candles or 25 candles. Hehehe I'll have to take a vote from everyone else to find out. *GRIN*

[User Picture]
From:cognizance
Date:April 26th, 2003 11:50 am (UTC)
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Tee hee.... I typically do proofread my comments. Dunno if I did with this one or not. *chuckle* Oops!

So do I get to vote on candles? I vote for 2!!! tee hee

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